The Toxic Tumble

I’m not sure what it says about our culture that the word ‘toxic’ has become so commonplace that it’s mostly lost it’s meaning.

I use it myself, to describe the mission I’m on to teach new ways of building resilience. I’ve used it to describe a frustrating conversation and definitely in reference to difficult situations at work. But when does something actually go from normal to toxic?

It brings to mind a phenomenon I learned about years ago but only just discovered is attributable to a famous author:

You see, we don’t just wake up in a rock bottom moment or a toxic situation. As you know, I’ve written before about tuning into our early warning system. If you look at your best and also hardest times, you’re surely to discover gradually, then suddenly at work.

• You fall in love gradually, then suddenly, you’re married.

• You fall out of love gradually, then suddenly, you’re divorced.

• You make spending choices gradually, then suddenly, you’re in debt.

• You make career decisions gradually, then suddenly, you’re being promoted.

Toxic stress is defined as stress that is prolonged, severe, or chronic, which can cause significant problems with health, development and in the workplace, impede productivity.

How we respond to toxic stress varies by situation and individual, which can make it hard to detect. For every one of us who becomes disengaged, there’s another who goes into overdrive trying to fix the situation. I’m one of those. So, how do we prevent the toxic tumble?

I was pleased to learn of an exceptional resource, the Surgeon General’s Framework for Workplace Mental Health and Well-Being.

To make this tool practical, simply turn each essential area into a question:

1. Do I feel safe and secure?

2. Do I have support and feel a sense of belonging?

3. Do I have the flexibility I need and the autonomy to do my best work?

4. Am I treated with dignity, doing work that has meaning?

5. Do I have the opportunity to learn and am I recognized for my contributions?

Which questions did you hesitate over or answer ‘no’ to? Start there. I often reference the ‘resilience rule of two’, coined by Aditi Nerurkar, MD, whereby we can only work on improving two things at once.

Once you’ve identified what’s missing, what do you do about it? Your goal is to look for what’s within your control that can prevent a gradual decline in your overall wellbeing and satisfaction.

Find a trusted friend. Write down your feelings. Hire a coach. Confide in your partner. Whatever you do, learn to trust the feeling that something is ‘off’ and remember that every moment provides an opportunity for a new choice.