From Unmoored to Grounded

It's hard to imagine a week when I've gone through more extreme emotions in a matter of hours. I know I'm not alone in feeling like I've lived a year in a matter of days.

I've worked hard over the past few years to expand my vocabulary in the area of emotions. (Thanks, Dr. Brene Brown.) It helps me be a better coach for my clients. It helps me be a better parent. It vastly increases my self-awareness.

Tuesday

Anticipation. Excitement. Pride.

Anxiety. Concern. Fear.

Wednesday

Anger. Disgust. Resentment.

Anguish. Confusion.

Resignation.

Thursday

Rested. Centered. Clear.

Grounded.

I tend to move through challenges and grief rather quickly and I'll be the first to admit that it's not always a strength. I (along with most women I know) was trained to hold it together for the sake of everyone around me. Sure it's ok to fall apart, just do it when it's less inconvenient for others.

This 'need for speed' when it comes to resilience can be toxic when I skip over essential processing of information and feelings.

This week was different.

I felt myself being keenly aware of how I was feeling, moment to moment. There was no apologizing for how I showed up. I didn't indulge in a single thought about what I 'should' be doing.

I just felt.

I cried.

I walked. A lot.

I slept. HARD.

Did I get my to-do list done? Not even a fraction of it.

Did I eat healthy? Hell, no. The proximity of election day to Halloween should be strongly considered.

Was I there for my loved ones? Yes, mostly. But I also didn't take on their burdens as my own.

That's the victory that I'm declaring. 

When all else feels out of control, it comes down to me. 

How I show up for others will always drive me.

But how I show up for myself will always be the measurement that matters. 

Take care of you.

Find the good.